Today is National Hermit Day so we take a look at the times when it's ok to be by yourself, even when you're in a relationship. You need to give you and your partner a chance to miss each other, so being alone can actually benefit you and your partner.
Relationships on Female First
When you want an early night (and they don't) - Although it's preferable that you go to bed together, if you're exhausted from a hard day at work or after some vigorous exercise; rest is important. Your partner can join you later and snuggle into you when they come up to bed. To be a good partner you must first look after your own needs (think of the aeroplane mask analogy). If your body is telling you to rest- rest and you will have the energy to do more with your partner the next day.
When you want to explore a new/existing hobby- Not all of your hobbies are for sharing- you might enjoy art, writing or reading- all of which are generally done alone. You must ensure you have things you enjoy together and apart or your conversation will run dry as you will already know what your partner has done all day and vice versa.
When you've spent all weekend together- Every couple needs their space, so after a whole weekend or long day together, it's important to go off and do your own thing for a while. Whether that's taking a bath, popping to the shops for milk, or spending some time in different rooms of the house doing your own thing. Weekends can breed arguments if you don't give each other breathing room along the way.
When you want to study- Many jobs offer in house training or you may just want to study outside of your working life for you own sanity. Either way; it's ok to escape to a room, shut the door and immerse yourself in your notes for a few hours. Your partner should understand that any distractions will only hinder your chances of concentrating and ultimately passing the course.
When you're angry at something small- Sometimes couples can fly off the handle over the smallest of things. If you feel yourself bubbling up over something your partner has neglected to do- take a step back and think first. Is it really worth having an argument over? Probably not. If it's a problem, you can bring it up when you're calm and collected which may have more of an impact than blowing up in their face.
When you feel ill- It's sweet when your partner tries to nurse you back to health but sometimes you just want time alone to rest and sleep without interruption. If you feel this way then a gentle reminder to your partner might not go amiss.
When you have a big decision to make- Some people work better discussing a life changing decision with their partner from the word go- others like to get it straight in their head first and then talk to their partner about it. If you're the latter- it can help to consolidate your thoughts before getting your partner's input which might confuse you if you've not yet made up your mind.
When you want to do different things- If your partner wants to watch TV but you want to try out a new recipe- there's no harm in going your separate ways for a couple of hours. If you don't, you will only begin to resent each other for forcing things upon one another you really don't want to do.
When you need to get out of the house- Sometimes the home can be stifling if you've spent an extended period of time in it with your partner. If you feel the desire to leave for a walk or to go to the shops by yourself, it can give you both the breather you need if your partner is happy to stay put.
After an argument- All couples argue and often you just need some time apart to put things into perspective and see it from their point of view. At which point you can reconvene, apologise, talk about things more constructively and come up with a solution to your disagreement.