Some of our most romantic stories have involved love across national borders. Anthony and Cleopatra in Shakespeare, Donald and Melania in Trump Tower, Lexi and Roy in The Archers. Not all run so smoothly, but if you can cross those first few hurdles and find yourself living with the guy/girl of your dreams in sunny Sydney, Santorini or Koh Samui, how can you keep things sweet?
Relationships on Female First
When you move abroad to be with someone you love, you wave goodbye to the friends, family and support networks that can help keep a romance on track. So you need to help yourself with our eight simple tips for keeping the love when you move abroad.
Do learn the language
Nothing says te quiero, ich liebe dich, je t’aime, ti amo, naku penda, te iubesc or wo ai ni, like learning your beloved’s language. Even if they speak perfect English, it will help to keep the mother-in-law on-side. From a purely practical point of view, you’ll be able to be independent and less reliant on your partner when outside the home. That can help romantically as well – retain a little mystery, make them know you have options and aren’t totally reliant on them…
Don’t keep score
Love should never be about scoring points, so banish the phrase “I moved here for you” from your vocabulary. Or at least, save it for very special occasions! That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use some of that emotional capital you have accumulated where appropriate. For example, your partner having chosen the country, the least you can expect is the choice of curtain fabric, home or neighbourhood.
Keep your own traditions
What would Christmas be without presents, Good Friday without a hot cross bun, Mothering Sunday without a bunch of flowers? Don’t turn your back on your old traditions, either introduce them yourself or subtly encourage your partner to. It might not be easy explaining to the in-laws that you just have to light a sparkler on November 5th, but this can be learning experience for them as well as you and they’ll be thrilled to learn the art of pancake making or cheese rolling.
Beware speaking the truth as you see it.
Your partner will be tied into certain ways of seeing things and doing things, while you can take a new approach. Of course, that can be problematic in itself, if you challenge your new in-laws’ cherished beliefs, so maybe avoid talking too much politics or religion when you arrive and try to be an observer. Ask questions, and read up. You’re not just discovering a new person, or a new family, but a whole culture and history.
See it afresh
What advantages do you have over your local lover? One is the ability to see your new land afresh, literally. You can do that in very practical ways by taking up art – the time taken to really study a view or a feature in depth will give you a deeper perspective. It will give you the chance to get out and about and meet people. If you don’t speak the language (yet! Don’t give up…) the global language of art can be a great way to make friends.
Love your new home
“Nothing’s good but thinking makes it so,” said Shakespeare. So take the decision to see the best in your new home (and your new extended family) and not take the Donald Trump attitude to certain countries. You will meet people who don’t like the British, or who take the mickey, your job is to rise above it (although a healthy dose of British sarcasm won’t go amiss if under attack!). Making the process of buying your home abroad as smooth as possible is a good way to get that loving feeling for your new home from the start. Property Guides provide country specific information and step-by-step guidance on every aspect of the buying process and moving into your new home.
Spend quality time together
What better way to discover and settle in to your new home than by enjoying days exploring it with the love of your life. Jump in the car, pop on a spot of Bill Withers “Just the Two of Us”, and head off to visit the local sights, coast or countryside. Your husband, wife or significant other will know the best places to go and you can spend some quality time together in the process.
Making the most of date nights
Sticking to the theme of making time for one another, try pencilling a regular date night into the calendar. Even if it’s just once a month, think how nice it would be to escape the stresses of everyday life by doing something special together. Whether it’s celebrated in your new home or not, make an extra effort when Valentine’s Day comes around on 14th February. On top of the card, flowers and box of chocolates, book a meal and a show or go for a romantic walk in your favourite spot. Keep home sickness at bay by keeping the romance alive.