Superbad
2 Guns have found that millions of women hate their partner’s mates and it’s no surprise why looking at the below. We explore some of the possible reasons for this hatred.
Drinks too much- When he is with you a few pints is enough and he’s happy to be merry- with his mates- there has to be a mixture of alcohol and anything less than ten is bordering on growing a vagina.
Completely ignores you- All of a sudden you don’t exist, and when you try to join in they change the subject.
Tells the same stories you have heard over and over again- We get it you had a great time in school together or on a weekend away-do we really need to hear about it every single time we go out?
Talks about football endlessly- I’m sure you would have problem if all we talked about was make-up and clothes- have some consideration!
Shows-off- Says he did things that are not true because you were there or he massively exaggerates them.
Swears more- Every other word is f**k and you begin to think you are in the middle of a gangster film.
Stays out late- Comes back in the early hours, without a text all night to tell you he’s ok and then wakes you up as he stumbles to bed and suggests having sex. ‘Perhaps if you didn’t have sick down your chin!’
Plays computer games for hours on end- They lend him a new game and that is it- you might as well block off your clitoris because his hands cramp into ‘the claw’ from holding the pad for so long and he can no longer pleasure you.
Acts like they are still teenagers- You are with a mature-for-his age-guy, who you respect and feel is your equal and then suddenly it feels like you are babysitting your little brother!
Tell each other unfunny jokes- Jokes about unspeakable things that you would only find on the internet by mistake and you wonder what all the people sat around you now think you do in your spare time.
Doesn’t show you any affection- When you are on your own, he might kiss you hold your hand, put his arm around you- when his mates are present it’s like you have suddenly contracted an STD.
Talks about women- He openly says that he would ‘bang’ some woman walking past or that some girl they used to go to school with is really fit now. Of course she is and yes if I was not here I’m certain you would take her over the table in front of everyone.
Drives faster- Normally he drives like an adult- conscious of knocking kids over and conserving his petrol- then it miraculously turns in to Need for Speed and you worry if you’ll get out alive.
Acts the class clown- He causes trouble and encourages trouble and you want the ground to swallow you up.
Acts like a completely different person- You begin to wonder if you are dating the guy you thought you were- because the guy he is around his mates is not at all attractive and chats total crap all the time.
Talks about cars- Women as a rule of thumb, don’t know cars- so we can’t join in. When we talk about ours- it gets mocked for being a girly car that’s too small. If we knew about cars you would be redundant so be thankful that we still have something to come to you for.
Makes out he helps with cooking and cleaning more than he actually does- In his mind- hoovering is cleaning the whole house, even if it’s just one room; doing a BBQ once a year is cooking every week. Loading the dishwasher is a task that requires mentioning and if he cleans anywhere else it's worthy of some sort of award in his eyes! And the men nod on as if in agreement.
Shouts at the TV- Normally- something that bothers him on the TV is discussed in a calm manner, but suddenly it’s important to express everything so loud that the whole street knows you disagree with the ref’s decision.
Makes out he’s really independent- He forgets that he can’t iron a shirt, or cook for himself, or do his own washing without you being present to do it for him. Yet he can totally do it on his own if you left him.
Calls you by your proper name and not the pet names you have for each other- Forget ‘babe’ or ‘hun’- no it’s Christian name only- for he who calls his partner by a pet name is ‘whipped’.
tagged in Partner