What is love and how do we know when it’s true love?

11 July 2018

“When I find the love of my life all will be ok.”

Relationships on Female First

I have seen thousands of people in my room and have facilitated many of them to find their true love. Countless numbers of us are searching for our idea of love, putting a lot of energy into attaining it. Some people do find it. Yet many of us struggle with this and who can blame us? With all we see in the movies or gossip magazines, we may not have the best definition of what love really is! In this space I invite you to come with me on a journey and see love from a different point of view; that of energy.

What if, what you define as an experience of true love is merely an energetic exchange where the information you have about love matches the information the other person has about love. This could mean having similar ideas about what love should look like, how you should each be treated within the relationship and how you want a relationship to develop.

If we build upon the idea that love is energy, we will see that a lot of times relationships break down because of a mismatch of values. When you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you probably won’t even notice, but as you settle into it, your values will become more apparent. How would you feel if your partner buys you lots of gifts, but no longer has the time to go for dinner or a movie as you’d like? You may think that your partner no longer cares as they used to, but maybe it’s just a result of you valuing quality time whilst your partner values gifts. They are showing you that they care, just its different to your expectation.

Our energy of love originates from the people who were our primary care givers when we were children and the relationship we observed them creating. What I found common in the adults who experience challenges in relationships was that they usually came from a broken home. It showed in their energy that they had no reference point or memory of a loving relationship. Their idea of love had been distorted as it was based on their first experience of so called love, i.e., what they witnessed between their parents.

Your love taste buds are as unique as your fingerprint and until and unless you understand your print, you won’t understand the print you are attracting. So take some time to think about what was your first experience of love. How has that influenced your current relationship values? What print are you attracting based on this?

Now let’s take this one step further. What if love is what you define it to be and the only way you can always be in love is to check in with what it is you desire and the experiences you want to have, instead of focusing on the other person. Put it out there to the Universe that you want to experience love and be clear about what type of experience you’d like; do you want quality time with a partner, do you want to have adventure with them, etc? Then trust that whatever you want will show up.

The good news about seeing love as an energy is that it takes away the attachment and expectations that we put on other people. We instead come to understand that anybody that is in our life as our partner is a reflection of what love is for us in our conscious and subconscious. We can all have true love; all we need to do is recognise what this means for us!