So you have been dating a while now and everything is just perfect between you both, you share the same love of music, food, nights out and of course look and feel great together. There will come a point where you will say to yourself "ok we need to meet the family and friends!".

Does this look familiar?

Does this look familiar?

So, one lady I know, Stephanie is invited out with her partner. It is Jason's work do that weekend, only for Stephanie to feel herself getting all stressed again and thinking "I remember last time I met two of his work friends, we clashed and I felt they were acting really immature, I hope they are not the same and make it an uncomfortable night!!"

Stephanie asked Jason if those two men in particular would be attending the night and if it would be ok to sit somewhere else for dinner. Preferably not next to them, as last time she felt it was rather embarrassing as well as feeling awkward around their girlfriends too who were there. In Stephanie's opinion they were loud mouthed and a level of embarrassment for her too.

Jason was not sure how to react here, but felt he had to mention that they are not always like that, it was just after a few drinks and they were always such fun. They went away a few weekends a year, followed by many football matches and nights out after work. This always made Stephanie flinch at another one being booked.

That night, Stephanie decided not to say anything apart from keep quiet and drink a bottle of wine to keep her emotions at bay. The same repeat scenario happened only for Stephanie to feel like she had encountered the same thoughts but ten times worse. She did not want join in on any banter, but instead only kept herself quiet whilst looking incredibly upset for the duration of the evening.

The party ended on a tense note, where Stephanie decided enough was enough and gave Jason a piece of her mind to the point of describing her own thoughts emotionally which resulted in a huge row. This so called row, lasted longer than expected only for the pair of them to fall out and not talk for a few hours. The tension continued for a further few days and made their relationship very difficult to get back on track a week later. Stephanie tells me that they have not been the same since.

Now what Stephanie should have done was looked at this from a different perspective.

The best thing to do is to be open and honest about your feelings. To let your partner know why you do not like them if you think it helps. Always use the I statements instead of you. This would only point the blame and he will then be in defence mode with you.

Listen to what your partner is trying to tell you and what he/she says about their friends. Are they positive for them, are they good for them? What does it say about their friendship and what makes your partner happy?

You cannot force your partner to dump his friends just because you do not like them. This would be a very serious control issue and will only drive your partner away from you more. It would cause many risks and many further arguments along the way.

Try and make an effort, instead of assuming on face value. You could find that over time you get along quite well, even if it is just for the sake of your partner. This would go a long way and he would love you more for it if you try and see them on a different level.

Agree to disagree, well if you really do not like their friends, then it may be a case of throwing in the towel and thinking well if he is happy, then I will leave him to it. (The easier option).

What I have found is the more you realise you cant like everyone and vice versa, it will give you more time to invest in separate interests outside of your relationship and value your friends too. Not everyone is the same as you or your friends, so you cannot expect your partner to like exactly the same things as yourself and that goes for friends too.

This keeps your relationship alive as well. Can you imagine how boring it would be to like everyone your partner likes and wanted to be with them as much as your partner does.

Joanna Scott

Ask The Psychic

Sky TV Channel 886

Author of " The Love Key"

Tel: 0792 000 4357


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