Dynamo feels as though he's "losing everything that's important" amid his battle with coronavirus and Crohn's disease.
Dynamo
The 37-year-old magician has been suffering from "severe" coronavirus symptoms, and as he is considered high risk for the potentially deadly illness because of Crohn's - which is an inflammatory bowel disease that causes an inflammation of the digestive tract - he says it has been "very easy" to "wallow in the sickness".
He said: "It's very easy to wallow in the sickness, especially when you feel like you're losing everything that's important around you. Not being able to perform magic, for me, I didn't see the point in being alive. It's my identity. But it caused me to find myself in a different way. And I've definitely taken my disabilities and turned them into superpowers."
Dynamo - whose real name is Steven Frayne - had a serious flare up of Crohn's disease in 2017 after a bout of food poisoning, which resulted in him spending five weeks in hospital.
The magician - who has been battling Crohn's since his teenage years, and had half of his stomach removed at the age of 17 - explained: "The easiest way to sum up Crohn's is to imagine an open wound on your hand, but inside your tummy, and every time you eat it's like rubbing dirt into that wound," he explains.
"Obviously some food is dirtier than others and it can cause your tummy to bleed, so it's a wound that never quite heals up.
"I don't want to sound too disgusting, but with this food poisoning, there was a lot of stuff coming out everywhere. You know like in Family Guy when they vomit? It was like that, but blood.
"It was 4am and my wife rushed me to hospital. I could tell it was something to do with the Crohn's, but when I got to hospital the highest dosage of morphine wasn't even touching the sides. It was the worst feeling I've ever had."
After leaving the hospital, Dynamo says he's still at only 85 percent fitness, and is in hospital every other week for powerful infusions of medicine.
But the star - who returns to screens this week in his new show 'Beyond Belief' - is refusing to let his conditions define him.
Speaking to The Sun newspaper's TV Mag, he said: "'Beyond Belief' has definitely been the hardest I've ever had to work to create something, but it's come from such a personal place. I genuinely think this is the best magic I have ever done. I want to show people I'm back. This is only the beginning of the return of Dynamo."
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