Oti Mabuse wasn't "100% in" her marriage to Marius Iepure because of the pressures of 'Strictly Come Dancing'.
The 34-year-old dancer - who partnered Kelvin Fletcher and Bill Bailey to victory on the Latin and ballroom show in 2019 and 2020 - admitted she couldn't think of anything but the programme during her seven-year stint and never felt she was "good enough" to be a role model for other black women.
During a conversation on Paul Carrick Brunson's We Need To Talk podcast, Oti said: "It is all you think about 24/7. It's all you do. You're on tour, you're doing other Strictly-associated shows. You're not really 100% in the marriage, because this is gold. The trophy is handmade, by the way, and you're fixated on it.
"In my head, I felt, 'I'm not good enough'. I'm not good enough in my job'. All of this pressure that I [had] - I'm representing black women. I'm representing African women. I stand for so much - if I can't get this job done, I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be here'."
Oti's husband Marius - who she married in 2014 - stepped in when Oti had broken down in the shower after feeling that the job had taken over her life.
She added: "[Marius] came in, he got in the shower, fully clothed, he picked me up, and he just hugged me and held me. He said, 'It's just a job. You have family, you have friends, you have me and you have food'.
"In that moment, I realised that no matter how much I have this career - and I love the show and everything it encompasses - at the end of the day, I get to go home to the things that make me more. It is not who I am, it's what I do."
Marius- who appeared on the podcast with Oti and is also a dancer- shared that as someone who is also in the industry, he could support his wife and understood how it felt.
He said: "I’m in that business. I knew what it takes to be a successful dancer and choreographer in a show like that, so it was nothing new. But obviously it's tough and it hurts and it's not the easiest time but you see the end of the tunnel."