Shirley Ballas feels "guilty" over the death of her brother in 2003.
Shirley Ballas
The 57-year-old television star suffered heartache when her brother David took his own life in 2003 at the age of 44, and she has now opened up on the morning when she was told the terrible news.
Shirley's brother battled depression, and she has explained that she had tried to encourage him and their mother Audrey to travel to London to see her son Mark perform in St Paul's Cathedral.
She said: "The day David died, Mark was going to sing in St Paul's Cathedral. I called my mum and said, 'Why don't you and David come down?'."
David claimed he was "too unwell" to visit, and Shirley now blames herself for his passing after she convinced their mother to make the trip "just for the night" without him.
She added: "Maybe if she'd stayed there it wouldn't have happened."
The 'Strictly Come Dancing' judge and her mother then found out the tragic news when police arrived at Shirley's home the following morning.
Speaking to the Daily Star newspaper, Shirley said: "At 6am the next morning there was a knock on the door. My heart sank when I saw the two police officers because Mark had stayed out. When they said my mother's name I stood aside. Then they said, 'I'm sorry to inform you your son has passed away'."
Shirley's feelings of guilt come after she recently insisted that she "deserved" to be cheated on by her second husband Corky Ballas.
She said: "During my time with Corky there was infidelity there and I just put it down to, 'I probably deserved it,' and it was karma.
"I think when you get married so young, every seven years it changes and your outlook changes and probably I should've waited to get married until I was much older.
"It's not about him, because we have a beautiful son together and I forgive him for anything that's written about me.
"But I just thought perhaps it was karma."