So, within the first few minutes of the episode, we are hit straight in the face with a porkchop load of drama.
The Porkchop Loading Dock queens use the All Stars lipstick vote function to eliminate their least favourite queen solely based on first impressions. Elliott with 2 Ts was the first Porkchop Loading Dock to be voted out, but there was of course another RuPaul's Drag Race twist.
We switch to the workroom with Ru telling the winning Queens that they will be joined by someone who didn’t get a fair chance.
I know I felt the same burning disappointment that Tina Burner was feeling, did you see that girl's face?
I feel like the rest of the episode was your typical premiere with the fashion show.
The two categories: “Ladylike Daytime Eleganza” and “Vampy, Night-time Whore”, were two great themes but chile... The standards were not as high as past seasons!
But do you know what was high standard? The drama-triangle between Kandy, Tina and Elliott. I could feel the water simmering from my sofa when they accused Elliott of being a mole or a spy. What kind of spy movie is this?
For the choreography, they were asked to perform to Ru’s single Congratulations. Which started awkwardly as no one wanted to step in straight away and direct the choreography; and our resistant choreographer Elliott didn’t step up as she wanted to keep her distance.
However Tina, the shining trained dancer firewoman took over and presented a choreography. A boyband, a trained dancer and she’s the fire services mascot: what more can Tina show us?
Besides all that, when it came down to the individual dance and verses, Gottmik freaked out when she realised, she accidentally 'came out' as a trans male in the middle of rehearsal. Fortunately, everyone was too worried about themselves to hear anything and Gottmik and Oliva Lux got to talk about it privately in the workroom, clarifying pronouns and clearing that anxiety.
Before the queens made their way to the main stage, Elliott goes on about how happy she is to be there, and those classic lies come flying out from the queens as they chorus “we love you!” from gritted teeth... those snakes! It's all part of the game, though. Remember to always be kind to all of the stars!
The queens ran out on the runaway and werked their magic. I could sit here and detail their runaway but, that would be spoiling the best bit!
What I will tell you is that Symone, Olivia Lux, Tina Burner and Gottmik were definitely my top three. I had high expectations for Symone and Olivia Lux which they passed with flying colours.
Again, I’m not overly excited by Kandy or Elliott just yet; they have the striking confidence to perform but some quality is missing for me. I need to see more of what they offer.
Next episode, I’m expecting to see some fight from the other queens because so far this looks our top seven already... but I want to see competition and even more drama!
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 13 continues Saturdays in the UK on Netflix.
Words by Bethan Case for Female First