newlyweds you have to play the waiting game!

newlyweds you have to play the waiting game!

As someone who is getting married in less than a year I was a little disappointed to read the following stats, as they do not bode well for newlyweds!

Slater and Gordon, the family law specialist revealed that the first year of marriage is not the happiest in a couple’s life; it’s the third year that tops all of the others.

The reason for this? Well three years in is when a couple usually decides to start a family, which is something that cements their relationship even more.

By the third anniversary, the couple’s finances have settled down, they know their outgoings and income. Having two wages instead of one means that they can enjoy themselves more and changes that have been made to the family home are almost done with.

The first year is the worst according to the study as many couples are burdened with being tired from looking after their children and increased workloads as they make their way up the professional ladder.

Family lawyer at Slater and Gordon Amanda McAlister said:

''It's not very often we see clients in those first few years of marriage but by the five year mark or a couple of years after they have children we often have married couples asking us for advice.

''The buzz of the first few years where everything is new is hard to maintain and often people find that married life hasn't lived up to their expectations.

''We encourage anyone having doubts at this point in their marriage to really think about whether it's a crisis that can't be overcome.

''Often those clients will just be having a hard time and six months later their marriage will have completely turned a corner.''

By year five, you might take each other for granted and regularly bicker over little things like chores around the house and financial worries begin to take their toll.

If a child is born into the relationship this can also cause added pressure.

The seventh year is the one that will define the couple for the rest of their lives, if they can get through this one then they are destined to be together, however if not it could mean serious consequences for their future.

The emotional and physical demands of being married were also investigated. It was found that one in ten did not realise just how difficult marriage would be and they had a comedown after their wedding day.  

Lucy says:

‘One thing that the study has not taken into account is that times are changing and many couples choose to live together before getting married. I will have been living with my partner for two and a half years when we get married, so a lot of these issues we have already tackled, well except children!’

Sadly, a third of couples feel that there is not enough affection in their marriage and one in five believe that they made the wrong choice by getting married.

In the first few years, differing sex drives, hobbies and social preferences were also things that caused added agro in couples.

The first year was ranked just behind the third year in terms of happiness. In this year couples are optimistic about their lives together and are still affected by the honeymoon period for the entire year after their wedding.

One third belied that the love in her marriage has diminished since their wedding day as the work that is required to make it work sinks in.

One in ten revealed that they didn’t love their partners as much as they did on the day they got married and one in five realised that their marriage did not meet their expectations. That said, one in four said that they could make an extra effort to get their marriage to work better. So are people just getting lazy and taking their partners for granted?

Amanda McAlister added:

''People often get so overwhelmed by the first few years they forget that a successful marriage requires work.

''Marriages have ups and downs and highs and lows.

''Most things can be worked through with counselling but if there are more lows than highs that's the point when you might want to get legal advice.''


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