Madeleine McCann
Kate McCann mother of Madeleine McCann has revealed in her book 'Madeleine' the devastating horror of her daughters abduction caused her to question her faith.
Kate is known to be a devout Catholic, says in the book her life had been "weighed down by guilt" from the moment the three-year-old was abducted from the families holiday home in Portugal in 2007.
Kate lays bare her emotions and her desperate sorrow in the book Madeleine, to be published on Thursday telling how the events brought her to question the very existence of God, Kate writes "There have been many times when I've felt God has deserted me or that He has let Madeleine down. I've occasionally doubted His existence altogether. And yes, I've been angry with Him."
Mrs McCann adds she did not blame God for her daughter's disappearance because the abductor was responsible, but she struggled with the fact the family are still waiting for an answer.
She continues - "How can so much suffering and injustice be heaped upon one family? It is said God only gives you a cross he knows you can bear. Well, I'm afraid this cross has been far too heavy for far too long.
"For now, though, at least, my anger towards God seems to have subsided. I believe in Him and I still feel His presence."
She adds, she believes that "wherever Madeleine is, God is with her".
Mrs McCann, a former doctor from Rothley, Leicestershire, had been dining with her husband Gerry and seven friends at a tapas restaurant a mere 100 metres from the youngster's room in the resort of Praia du Luz on the evening of May 3, 2007 when her then three year old daughter Madeleine vanished.
In the book, which was serialised in The Sunday Times, Kate McCann also reveals how she is haunted by the thought she missed a chance to prevent the abduction, saying Madeleine had tried to tell her that someone had attempted to break into the children’s bedroom.
Kate says "With hindsight, it could have been her ‘one chance to prevent what was about to happen, and I blew it.’
The possible missed opportunity was during breakfast on the day Madeleine vanished, when the little girl disconcerted her mother by asking: ‘Why didn't you come when Sean and I cried last night?’
Kate McCann,says: ‘Not for a moment did we think there might be some sinister explanation. But it is my belief there was somebody either in or trying to get into the children’s bedroom that night, and that is what disturbed them.
‘So haunted have I been ever since by Madeleine’s words that I've continued to blame myself for not sitting down and making completely certain there was no more information I could draw out of her.’
Her emotional book, titled Madeleine, is published Thursday 12th May on the day Madeleine would have been eight..