Devoted mothers are fantastic to a certain extent. When they're dedicated to looking after their children, ensuring their safety and making sure they don't get into any trouble, everything is fine. It's when that child is a middle-aged man or woman in a loving relationship that things get a little difficult and overbearing.
Interfering mother-in-laws who disapprove of the way their kids are living their lives have been a problem for some time. They've not just suddenly woken up and crawled out of the woodwork.
It is a mother-in-law's responsibility to accept that their child is living their own life and is grown-up enough to make their own decisions. After all, what does it say about their parenting if they're not willing to trust the choices their children are making?
Just last week, Mel Fallowfield appeared on a segment during ITV's This Morning alongside mother-in-law Irene Atterbury. The two complained about one another - Irene thinks Mel needs to put more effort into becoming her idea of the perfect housewife, whilst Mel told of how Irene asked if she could wear black to her son's wedding, whilst also once commenting on Mel's figure.
It was an awkward and sad thing to watch, as the two sat next to one another, remaining slightly guarded and laughing nervously throughout their interview. They showed they have enough respect for one another to not rip each other to shreds during their time on live television, but it was clear there was mutual dislike in the air.
If a parent has gotten to this stage, then clearly their child is doing nothing to combat their ludicrous behaviour. This is something that has to change and you, as the one who's being punished for simply being yourself, should speak to you spouse about putting their mother in her rightful place. Just make sure you don't go overboard - this is one person your partner has presumably spent a huge chunk of their life alongside, so being overly negative will do nobody any good at all.
You do also have a responsibility not to interpret everything your mother-in-law says in a negative manner. Looking for hidden messages will drive anybody crazy - and it'll work out better for you in the long run if you remain pleasant throughout any exchange. Treat her like the queen she believes she is. Coffee, cake, biscuits - after all, if she's constantly drinking or eating whilst visiting, it means she'll have less to say as she'll literally have her mouth full!
Those of you who have children yourself should make sure she's involved with them as often as possible. Her energy and maternal instincts may then pass through to their grandchildren and the mothering of your partner may cease or at least become less prominent. Just be wary that her meddling could then begin to bother you in this department! You do however need to find some common ground and allow her a bit of leeway - she is after all now a big part of your entire family's life.
So whilst your mother-in-law needs to be dealt with, take a step back and for a minute ask yourself: are YOU doing everything in your power to ensure she's enjoying a happy relationship with you? SHOULD she be worried about you being with her 'little one'? Are YOU partially to blame? Put yourself in her shoes and imagine for a minute that you're looking at the person who your own child is to spend the rest of their life with. Would YOU be happy?
Nobody's perfect, but if your relationship is in jeopardy because of a third party, action needs to be taken.