Maria asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm 21 and I'm worried that I'm going to be alone forever. I'm still a virgin, which doesn't bother me too much, but I've not even been kissed or had any interest from anyone. I barely have any opportunity to socialise, since the few friends I have live far away. It gets me down so much, I'm the only person I know whose still in this situation.

Hi Maria,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you are in a place where you are ready to look for love then sometimes you need to take action instead of waiting for situations to present themselves through friends etc. Maybe you could join a dating site to kick start your dating journey. It may feel scary but everyone has to start somewhere and you could argue that the sooner you start, the faster it will feel like normal.

Dating sites are a great way to really hone in on what you are looking for and stop you from dating time wasters and people not looking for the same things as you. They also match you with other like minded people so a lot of the hard work is done for you- you just need to be prepared to meet new people. 

If your friends have moved away then it sounds like you perhaps need to extend your social circle so you have a friend or friends when your others are not close by. This might help you to feel more social in general and therefore you might find it easier to think about dating. 

Maybe you could join a club that supports your interest/s, and you never know who you might meet- who has the same passions as you- which is a great foundation. 

Some people have passed this point and their first kiss is a distant memory- you are at the beginning of your journey so perhaps view this with excitement rather than so much negativity. Some people would give anything to experience that feeling of first love again and you have it all to look forward to.

If you have had no interest from anyone then maybe you have just been hanging out with the wrong people. And maybe you have had interest but an admirer has just not let you know.

It can be tempting to feel like you are the only one who is in this situation, but you are not- there are thousands of single people out there all looking for the same thing as you and who knows- one of them might be the one. Maybe you just need to prioritise your romantic life for a while and actively pursue it rather than letting it pass you by.

 


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