Freda asks :

Hi Lucy,

My partner proposed to me last year, since then he has completely avoided making any wedding arrangements, I've tried talking to him and asked him what the problem is and he says he doesn't know! I don't doubt he loves me and our relationship is really good but this is really starting to get to me!!

 

Hi Freda,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you don't doubt whether he loves you then it might just be because men historically don't get involved in the wedding planning process.

Men normally have an attitude of 'all I have to do is turn up and say I do.' Men can put a lot of thought and planning into the proposal- and this might explain why they let their bride take on the next step alone as they had no involvement in the previous one.

If you ask any bride, chances are they went through the same as you are now. On the whole, men like to keep their women happy and they often think by letting their partner make most of the decisions that this will have the desired effect. Any wedding day is more about the bride than it is the groom- the focus is generally more on her anyway. So it is understandable that men like to take a step back and let their bride put everything in place so she feels comfortable as the centre of attention. Any wrong decision made by the groom might only set a marriage off on the wrong footing.

Aside from the bigger decisions such as venue and photographer, men generally don't show interest in the flowers, or the favours or the colour scheme etc. This isn't characteristic of just your fiancé- this is a stereotype of his entire sex.

If your relationship is really good otherwise then it sounds like is bundling himself with a lot of other grooms to be. If you want him to become more involved, then perhaps you could give him one thing to do, a project such as the suits. He needs to have involvement in this anyway so it seems like the natural choice.


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