My partner hasn't worked for five years

If one partner works it is only fair that the other takes care of things in the home or at least attempts to find work if staying at home is not for them. If you have told him how it makes you feel and he still is not doing anything then he is showing little respect for you or the relationship.

Habits are really hard to break especially if they have been this way for five years. Have you discussed the repercussions of him continuing like this? It may be that you have talked about how it makes you feel but not what could happen if he doesn’t change his ways. This might jolt him into doing something about it if he fears losing you over it. If this doesn’t faze him then it might be time to assess it relationship is for you.

Relate offer a great service for couple who are unable to resolve issues in their relationship, why not try making an appointment with one of their counsellors? An outsider’s perspective might help shed some light on ways you can get past this problem.

Have you tried working with him to find employment? Sometimes it takes a bit of active encouragement, i.e. going to the job centre with the person or helping them with their CV? A kick start may be what he needs from you to get the ball rolling.