Amy asks :
HI Lucy. I'm 23 and I still feel like I'm a socially awkward person. The room doesn't light up and say hey when I arrive. I'm still a bit shy and I have a barrier of some kind around me that causes people to not know what to say in front of at times. It's bringing me down
Hi Amy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
The room doesn't light up when a lot of people walk into it, it's just that they don't notice it as much as you. You might be thinking too big here. If you can make one person laugh or connect with one person in a room that might be more productive People might notice someone when they walk into a room, say something, or think something about them, but likely that is all, they are forgotten five minutes later. It might be worse if as soon as you walked in everyone started talking about you, because that could make you feel even more awkward.
Perhaps you are just hanging around with the wrong people. If conversation is awkward, then it could be that you are simply not clicking with your current friendship group. There must be someone who you feel you have a better connection with than the others, maybe try working on this one and see how you go.
Try not to put yourself in their shoes and what they are thinking about you- over analysing every non-verbal indicator or every comment can be exhausting, so try not to second guess so much. The only way to make yourself more socially confident is to do it more- practice. There will always be people that you have a rapport with and for every person you do there is likely someone who you don't. So seek out the ones that are compatible with your way of thinking and the conversation should flow much better.
tagged in Friendship yin and yang agony aunt
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