Claire asks :

Well me and my ex went out a couple of months ago for only about two weeks, it felt really awkward while we were together and we both wanted to break up but didn't want to hurt the other person. My best friend called me and said that he had just told her that he is going to purposely act like a bad boyfriend so i break up with him so he wouldn't have to break up with me. Obviously that really annoyed me so we had this big argument and we broke up. Since then he has apologized and we have become friends. One of our other friends invited us to this small party and my ex's stepbrother was there, we were talking and joking all night and eventually we kissed. The same night my ex was acting really weird. If i was sat talking to his stepbrother he would sit on the floor and stroke my leg, this made me really uncomfortable so i asked him to stop, yet he kept doing things like that all night. When we were together he hardly treated me like his girlfriend so why is he being so touchy feely now? My friend said he kept looking at me and acting all jealous. After that night he keeps liking all my pictures from ages ago on facebook and messaging me constantly even when i don't reply!! I don't know what to do! Me and his stepbrother have been talking since and we really like eachother, i get that it's his step brother, but i don't think he has the right to be jealous now when he was such a bad boyfriend to me before. Also, a week after we broke up he was going round with his arm around this other girl holding hands with her, yet when i talk to someone months later he won't leave me alone.

Yin replies

If he treated you badly while you were together, then things likely wouldn't change if you went back to being a couple again. Habits like that are hard to break, especially if there were no consequences for his actions at the time. Break ups are hard enough, but they are made even harder if the person you used ot be with is moving on and getting attention from the opposite sex. It will still be engrained in him that he needs to be protective when you are around other possible suitors. 

Yang replies

If he has been seen around town with other girls, the he is clearly trying to move on too, but seeing you with someone is a reminder of what he could have had, especially if it's someone who is so close to home that you are getting on well with.

If you like his brother and think it could go somewhere then it is worth pursuing, however remember that there will be a backlash from him once he finds out and it could cause family problems. Weigh up how much you like this guy against how much you don’t want to disrupt the family life of him and his brother. 


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