R asks :
Hi Lucy,
My partner and I have been together for 8 and half years we have an age gap of 30years but have an incredible relationship. We have always agreed we don’t want children he has children from a previous marriage and I have never been interested in a family. Then we recently found out I am pregnant (14wks!!) And he has said if I decide to keep the baby he cannot stay. I don’t know what to do, I wouldn’t plan to have children and we had agreed it wasn’t something we wanted but I can’t believe he would throw everything away. What do I do? I cannot bring up a child without him but I’m not sure I could cope with a termination.
Hi R,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Why not look into come couples counselling? After 8 years, it seems a shame to let this break you when it sounds like you have might have been through so much already and have a lot of history together.
That way you can explore why he feels that he can’t stand by you because of this baby- there might be other reasons you have not discussed as to why he feels so strongly against it. You can also talk about what effects a termination might have on you and see if you can find a way to agree on an outcome or course of action together.
If you find that you can’t cope going through with a termination and he cannot be persuaded to stay then you might have to seek out other options, with you both taking separate paths. If this is the case then try to make sure that you have the best support system around you of friends and family to help you out as best they can.
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