Hana asks :

Hi Lucy,

I have fallen in love with this man, he is my manager and ten years older than me, but neither if these things seem to matter, he's always complimenting me and we talk about everything from kids to joking, we just click and always have. Here's the problem, he's married, he drinks a lot, nearly every night, he has three kids and I have a little baby boy, complicated isn't the word, the reason I am writing is because I don't want to get in the way if his relationship, family is so important to me, I believe he should try and tackle whatever is wrong in his relationship. I just want to know how to stay friends and not feel like I'm drowning in this man’s presence. We work in a very tiny shop so avoidance isn't an option. Please help, this is becoming unbearable. Thank you xoxo

Hi Hana,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Working together can make things tricky if you are trying to fall out of love with someone, but not impossible. If you want to stay as friends then perhaps have a chat with him and tell him that you ‘don’t want to get in the way of his relationship’ and that ‘he should tackle what is wrong in it’.

If you agree to be friends then maybe ask him to dial back on the compliments and try to avoid personal conversations as much as they could lead to more intimate exchanges.

Maybe you could avoid seeing him after work is this is a habit you have got into and try to get some distance if you have been in the shop with him all day.

If you continue to spend a lot of time with him then you might not be able to move on as quickly. Could you ask for a transfer or look for another job perhaps? A little more extreme but it could give you a fresh start.

It is more complicated because you both have children to think of too, perhaps focus on your little boy more and maybe that will help you think more about your life with your son and less about this man- hopefully helping you to shift your thoughts elsewhere.

 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.