T. Foster asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

How do I help my son improve his feelings of self-worth after a serious knock back by his father?

Hi T. Foster,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

I would begin by talking to him about it and how he feels about what his father said. It's not playing for favourites, but he needs to know that he can talk to one of his parents about the impact the exchange has had on him. You don't necessarily need to show that you favour one or the other but just that you are there to listen to him and help to build him back up.

I would suggest talking to his father separately too. He may regret what he has said, in which case he may just need a nudge to apologise. Or is your son willing to take some of his comments on board if they are harsh but true?

This could be more effective than sitting down together as a group as the issue is between him and your son- it sounds like you are trying to be the mediator here- which you may need to be one on one rather than all together.

If you partner won't deviate from his viewpoint then perhaps they can agree to disagree in time? If he doesn't try to build bridges then their relationship could be permanently damaged so it might take you to get him to think of the bigger picture here.


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