J asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend suffers from mild depression and anxiety which has been under control and I really don't think he needs medication HOWEVER he suffers from panic attacks when travelling and going to new places. He is very discreet when having panic attacks and keeps it to himself and most of the time I don't realise but it's very traumatic. We're going on holiday for the first time together and I know he has big panic attacks on planes. How can I calm him down and reassure him everything will be ok? I know he likes to play games to distract himself. How can I make it less traumatic and distract him and not keep it to himself? Thank you
Hi J,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Games are a good distraction- they should keep his mind active- they might not stop the panic altogether, however they can reduce the symptoms of an attack. Perhaps try to pack as many distractions as you can in your hand luggage, games, books, puzzles, anything that will keep his mind off where you are. Does your flight have a movie? That could be something else to make him forget where he is.
You could ask him to talk to you- staying quiet and not telling someone how you feel can often be a hindrance. If he talks to someone who isn't afraid of flying, like you perhaps, then you can counteract every irrational thought with a rational one.
Try to make sure he is comfortable too- that his belt is not digging in and the he has a plane cushion to ensure he is sat easily in his seat. If he is suffering with discomfort that can add to the feelings of panic.
Listen to his breathing- is it steady? If not, then maybe breathe with him and ask him to mimic your patterns. One of the main things that can exacerbate a panic attack is hyperventilation, so a slow and steady breathing pattern should help keep his anxiety levels steady.
There are also many alternative medicines that you could buy that could naturally calm his system down. It might be worth paying a visit to your local store and asking the assistant for a non-medical suggestion.
tagged in depression yin and yang agony aunt
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