Jason asks :
Hey Lucy,
I broke up with my girlfriend because she is moving away for her dream job despite still being deeply in love with her. This isn't the first time this has happened between us as she moved away for a year 2 years ago and we broke up (by my request) shortly after she left. I tend to take a very logistical view on things and as she will now be away from me for at least 2 and a half years I fail to see how we can make good foundations for a future together. I have no problems making the effort however as someone with a very busy lifestyle I know that time with her will be very limited. We're both still very much in love and know in the long run we would want to be together but as a couple with very high career ambitions between us, the certainty of being located near each other is difficult to predict. We both want to settle down and start a family before we're 30 (we're now 23) and although we have plenty of time, is it unreasonable to hold out for a life with each other and risk making things harder? Am I being too cynical with the situation or is this something that we have to let go of to ensure our happiness?
Our Reply
Hi Jason,
This sounds an extremely emotional situation for you both, given how much you care for each other.
It seems that you have a very practical approach to this- I am presuming that she does too. Your twenties are a time when you have the energy and the openness to travel to establish your careers and get as much experience under your belt as possible.
If you both feel the same way about this and have not parted on bad terms- then perhaps there will be time in future for you to rekindle what you had.
The most important thing to consider is if you have a promise of getting back to where you were- does that mean that you can move on? In the back of your mind any relationships between now and when you hit 30 (or just before) might have a time limit because there is a possibility that you could get back together with your girlfriend. Would that be fair to whoever you are dating? It might be a case that you don’t make any promises to each other and just see where you are when you are ready to settle down. If both or one of you do find love in someone else then that is something you will both need to prepare yourselves for.
tagged in Love couple yin and yang agony aunt
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