Hi Beth,

Having a baby is a huge change in a couple’s life because you have to be there for your child but also for each other and remember that first and foremost you are partners not just parents.

Could you arrange one night a week for your baby to be looked after by a family member or friend so you can get some quality time back together? Even if it’s just to eat, watch a DVD or some TV and get a restful night’s sleep. You don't have to do anything extravagant but it sounds like you both could do with the rest.

It is likely the tiredness that is getting to you both and creating this annoyance that you speak of and it’s only natural to take it out on each other as there is no one else. If you had a solid foundation before you had your baby and you tried for a long time to have a child then it sounds like you did not enter into this lightly- and something you both wanted. All of these things indicate that you have a good foundation to work through your issues with.

Have you spoken to him about any of this? Chances are if you are feeling this disconnected then he is too-perhaps take some time and tell him how you're feeling right now- and you can work through some solutions together rather than on your own. 

You could try to refocus on you as a couple and some time alone might just do that. Could you get away for a weekend and have a longer stint together? The important thing is you have not lost him physically- he is still with you. Perhaps just some carefully timed communication and a plan to have some more space- even if it’s once a month to yourselves, so you both have something to look forward to and enjoy that friendship again that you seem to treasure so much. Hopefully that will bring him back to you emotionally.