Allen asks :
Dear Lucy,
I have recently broke-up with my fiance, actually she fell for another guy and left me 3 months prior to our wedding, of course she came back but I didn't want her anymore. She has already moved on & she's been dating somebody for some time. Anyway, I have always been very close to her sister and after the break-up we got much closer. All her family really loved me and were always supportive. The thing is, I am falling for the sister and I cannot help it. She is older than me, she is not at all more physically attractive than my ex (so I don't think it's just a temptation) but I think she really is the one. Is it a bad thing? I think I will always blame myself if I don't try this relationship. I have known her for years and I adore everything about her. Please help me out! Cheers, Allen
Our Reply
Hi Allen,
This sounds like a very difficult and awkward situation to be in.
The thing to keep in mind is that you didn’t instigate the break up with your fiancé. That was her decision and the family might not blame you for not taking her back when she returned if she was unfaithful.
Have you talked to her sister about the idea of you getting together? If her family were content with you dating their other daughter then they might still be ok with you being part of their lives again.
Perhaps start dating her sister and take things one day at a time – if there is a lot of promise then that might be the time to approach the family. For now it might be wise just to concentrate on you both. If you give it a go, then you will know whether she is the one for you or not. Like you say if you don’t try you will never be sure if it was meant to be.
It will be admittedly awkward, if things do work out at social functions to see your ex again, however if you feel strongly about one another then you might find the courage to push past it and get on with being a couple.
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