Jill asks :

Hi Lucy,

I've been sleeping with a man I've known for over 5 years. I'm madly in love with him although in not sure the feelings are mutual even though he has said some things to make me think otherwise. It's complicated as he's married with kids and obviously this would mainly stop him from leaving his wife even though I'm not sure he's happy with her. So hard. Any advice welcome.

Hi Jill,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you are unsure about his feelings perhaps you could ask him- if you don’t, you might be left wondering where you stand in all of this. He might not leave his wife for you or he might be considering it- so maybe you need to know where this is going so you can decide if you want to stick around or not.

If he has not said that he loves you it could be because he doesn’t or it could be that his feelings are mixed up, as he might be torn between you and his family.

If you are ok with being the other woman then maybe this relationship could work out for the both of you, however, you probably need to decide what you are willing to compromise on. Now that you are ‘in love with him’, it sounds like you want to be a bigger part of his life.

Although he has a lot of decisions to make and conversations to have you also need to ensure that you are not the one who is left on the side-lines. It can be difficult if you believe that he is not happy, however some people cannot pull themselves away from their family regardless of their feelings for someone else- so you could talk to him and be given the chance to define what you have or leave things as they are and see where it takes you.

 


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