I want my ex back- any advice?

11 April 2020

Anonymous asks:

Me and my ex were going out for 2 years.

We broke up around this time last year but was on and off until January.

He’s got a new girlfriend and I thought I was over him but now I want him back again.

What do I do?

Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “You need to start by looking at the reasons why you split up in the first place. You were together for two years and then broke up a year ago. Who initiated this split? Was it you or your partner, or perhaps it was mutual? In my experience, splits are rarely mutual and more often than not one half of a relationship is keener to stay together than the other.

Agony Aunts on Female First

“After this initial break-up, like a lot of couples, you were on and off again for a while - I suspect because you both missed the intimacy and sex you shared together.

“You have both had plenty of chances to make this relationship work and it has failed repeatedly over three years. It is no wonder your ex has sought out someone new. I think you should do the same and move on from him.

“If he had the upper hand when you were together and was the prime mover in the splits, then he is almost certainly not going to want you back now he has met someone new.

“If you had the upper hand when you were together and were the prime mover in the splits, then you really deserve to give the guy a break. You have been messing him around for three years and toying with his feelings and it is perfectly understandable that he wants to find someone new.

“If the splits were genuinely amicable and two-sided, then why do you want him back? You know he is not Mr Right and he feels the same way about you. Move on. You only want him because you cannot have him and someone else has now got him. It is a classic case of ‘I want what I can’t have.’ If you win him back again - and that is a big if - you will just split up again and you will have wrecked his new relationship for no good reason. Just forget about him and work hard to find happiness with someone fresh as he has done.”