Katy asks :

I had a couple of people over at my house, and the guy was there who my best friend lost her virginity to. As we were all going to go to bed, my friend and him were talking and i heard her screaming at him calling him an asshole. I went into the room when he left and it seemed as if she was crying. So, i started to try and go back and fourth to resolve their problems and eventually, him and his friend were like "just come sit with us on the bed" so i did that and we were all joking around but then they both started telling me how perfect and beautiful i was. When the other guy left, i started making out with the guy that she lost her virginity to. She thought something was up but kept quiet. I left to go to Spain for the weekend the day after and then she calls me screaming at me saying that his friends told her we did more than what we actually did. I started deniying it and then i said nothing and i am still too scared to say anything. Its been 3 days. She has always said to me before that if i do anything like this, she'll never talk to me again but i was really drunk. We are in high school. What do i do to get her to forgive me?

Our Reply

There will always be strong feelings for the person you lost your virginity to, whether they be bad or good. It is a big deal for some people and they either want the experience to be erased from their memory or remember it fondly. If she is no longer with the guy then chances are she feels bitter about the whole thing. If she found out you kissed him then she will be worried about a number of things; namely you talking with him about her, your betrayal as a friend especially just after she has had an argument with him and him taking you away from her.

 

If you feel strongly about your friendship with her then apologise to her. Emphasise that you were drunk and that you won’t do that to her again. Put all of the previously mentioned worries to bed. Perhaps look for a partner that is outside of this circle of friends so wires won’t get crossed and feelings hurt. You need to be willing to put in the work to gain her trust back, but if you want the friendship back enough then this should be a small sacrifice to make.  

 


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