Lola asks :
Hi Lucy,
Basically I've met a guy and we've been chatting online and via text for about 2 months now and we've both made it clear that we'd like to start dating. The trouble is I've had to keep him a secret from my best friend who is a guy as recently I found out he's had a major crush on me for years now. I don't know what to do. I can't lie to him if I'm going to be in a relationship but I also don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him I'm interested in someone else. He's my best friend and I should be able to tell him everything and anything but I can't talk to him about this. Please help.
Our Reply
Hi Lola,
Although you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, chances are you will find someone sooner or later and have to have this conversation- there is no time like the present. If you stay single he might fantasize about you coming around to the idea of you and him, however if you are with someone then he will realise that you have moved on and that he should too.
If you do start dating, try to make time for him as well as your new man or this will make the blow harder. Reassure him when you spend time with him that he are still an important guy in your life- the last thing he needs to feel is redundant because you are dating. Try not to overload him with information as it might seem like you are rubbing it in his face, but if he asks then perhaps tell him some details of your new man and your time together.
There needs to be a careful balance in the beginning until he gets over his crush, so be sensitive to how he might feel. Once he gets over you, you will gradually be able to tell him more about your romantic life. If you two have a long standing friendship then you should be able to get through this will a little patience and understanding.
Lucy x
tagged in Relationship yin and yang best friend agony aunt crush
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