My ex cheated and now I've caught him cheating on his new partner!

2 August 2021

I found out my ex cheated on me throughout our nine year relationship so things came to an end. That was seven years ago. I've since had another relationship which has also recently come to an end, amicably this time, so I've started to look at online dating. One site I checked was a swinging site a friend had recommended... I found a profile that obviously belongs to my ex who cheated on me and I know he currently has a girlfriend! Not to mention they have just bought a house together! What do I do? My moral side says I should say something, as I would hate for anyone else to go through what I went through, but another part of me says I shouldn't interfere...

Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “Stay out of it - it is none of your business. I appreciate that you went through a tough time with your ex and you understandably don’t want another woman to go through the pain you went through. But is that really your motive? I suspect not.

Picture Credit: Pixabay

"Quite reasonably, you still have some resentment about the way he messed you around and you want to cause him trouble. No good will come from it. If he is sufficiently bold to share his details on a swinging website, then I suspect his new partner has a fair idea of what she is getting herself into. Perhaps she is interested in swinging herself and that is how they met.

“Whatever the background is, it is not your concern. I don’t think your advice would be gratefully received by his new girlfriend and obviously not by your ex either.

“You are entering into a new phase of your life after two long relationships. I don’t know if you have a genuine interest in swinging or were just surfing the net curiously. Clearly swinging is a fairly niche activity but I see nothing wrong with it if everyone is on the same page and consenting. The trouble with swinging is so often there is an element of coercion where a couple go into it together. Obviously that is not an issue for you because you are single. Good luck if you want to give it a try. And good luck with online dating - it is a great way to meet a new partner but be warned that there are a lot of men out there who are like your ex partner and are dating several women at the same time. I am sure you will be smart enough to smell a rat.

“Forget about your past partner. It was seven years ago. I am sure that the split was very tough at the time and he sounds like he is a right handful. I do worry about his new girlfriend and what she is getting into. He will possibly break her heart too, but you should stay right out of it and concentrate instead on the next phase of your life following your recent split.”