Hi Melanie,

This sounds a very tough situation to be in when you want both sides to get along but they won’t.

Many families go through the same- if they love you and care about you enough they should put their differences to one side and get along. This isn’t always the case. Have you talked to them and asked them to do this for you? If not then perhaps a family meeting might be productive, where everyone can talk about their grievances and agree that despite them, they will all try to make it work for you. There might be raised voices and disagreements, but the most important thing is that you are all honest with one another even if the truth hurts.

If they refuse to get along, then it might mean making arrangements with them separately. It would be unfortunate that you can’t bring your family together as one, but it could be your only option if no truce is made. That way you don’t have to choose between them and can still see everyone you love. Perhaps if you set specific days to spend with them, if something comes up that is unplanned- there is no bad feeling because that is your dedicated for seeing your adopted parents for instance.