I want my girlfriend to be my mistress

Hi Rohan, thanks for getting in touch!

If she doesn’t want to be your mistress, there is nothing I can do to change her mind. If you mean instead of your girlfriend. If you have already been exclusive as a couple and then you are suddenly asking for her to be your mistress, this could be confusing for her and those who are used to you being a pair and gives out the message that you want to sleep with other people. If you feel strongly that this is how you want to conduct your relationship then you may end up losing your girlfriend. This is something that you discuss before getting serious and falling in love.

If you mean that you want her to dominate you in the bedroom but leave your relationship the same then again this is not something can be forced upon someone. Especially if you have not suggested you like it in the past. Why not try little things like getting her to tie you up or getting her to be on top more, to get her used to the idea of being a little bit more assertive in the bedroom. She may like it if you take baby steps towards something more dominant, however asking her to be more forthright straight away might scare her off. A little submission from you might make her more open to the role, but if it doesn’t there are other ways to change up your sex life if you feel it is getting a little bland.

Ultimately, however if you love her and she is not prepared to change these things to make you happier in the bedroom, then you need to accept that is it just not for her. By forcing her into something she is not comfortable with this will make your existing sex life worst and probably more infrequent. 

Please get back in touch if you have any more questions, good luck.