Dee asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

My finance wants nothing to do with his children, I have tried to speak to him about this but he won't budge. He won't even try to talk to me about just says 'I don't want to'. Now I don't know if I can go ahead with the wedding. I feel I can't be with a man who just shuts himself off from his children? Do you think I am just meddling? Dee

Hi Dee,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It is entirely up to him if he wants to see his children or not- unfortunately- you may ever be able to change his mind on this, even if you think the contrary.

In terms of your relationship and potential children in future, then this may be something you need to think about and explore. How he is with his other children could be a reflection of how he will be with yours if you choose to have them together.

Have you talked to him about this? It is relevant and perhaps you need some reassurances that if you were to start a family things will be different this time around. He may not be willing to talk about his children, however if he knew that you were having second thoughts about the wedding, it might make him speak up on the issue.

He may be a new man with any children you have- or they could make him realise he needs to make the effort with his other children. There is no telling what the future might hold for you, however- if he can't make a promise to you that any children you have he will stand by then this is something you might need to discuss before going down the aisle.


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