Manuela asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago after a relationship of one year and a half. He said that he couldn't stand my character as I was very nervous. We had already broken up once and got back together the day after but this time it’s different. After we broke up we spent a week trying to talk to each other as friends, during that week I asked him 3 times to get back together and he said no, when I asked on the 3rd time and he said no I stopped talking to him, and we haven't talked to each other since. It's been 4 months and I still can't get over him. I decided to text him yesterday and I asked him how he was but the reply I got was from his sister telling me that he is using another mobile number and she gave it to me. Should I text him on that number or was it kind of a sign not to text him? Please help as I'm desperately crying every day for him and I have no idea what to do. Thanks.
Hi Manuela,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Four months is not a long time to allow yourself to get over someone- so try not to feel too worried if your feelings for him have not escaped you yet. A year and a half is a long time to be invested in a relationship with another person.
If you asked him three times if you could get back together and each time he said ‘no’ then perhaps take that as a sign that he doesn’t want things to go back to how they were.
If he has changed his number then this might also be an indicator that he is trying to move on and perhaps you should too.
You could try to focus on other things- spending time with your friends and family- getting a hobby, filling your diary full with things so you can start over again and make new memories.
There is no harm in thinking about your relationship- and figuring out why it didn’t go to plan and what you can learn from this to take forward to your next one. Every relationship, up to 'the one' is like a mock for the real thing- some things you got right; others didn’t work so well- so try and filter out the good and use the not-so-good to know what to avoid in future.
Talking also helps, so in the time you could spend with your friends and family, perhaps tell them how you are feeling and they might be able to pass on some advice. If not, a listening ear is just as good to help you work through the emotional stages of a break up.
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