Stacey asks :
Hi Lucy,
Right so I have a boyfriend of 8 years. We have a child and I thought he was the only guy in the world for me. I have known this other guy for 9 years although we weren't close friends or anything, until last year. We have a connection I can't describe we have so much in common and get on so well. We get each other’s humour and have very similar backgrounds. It's hard to explain but I really think I'm falling for him and I think he feels the same. I've never felt a connection like this before! I need some advice.
Hi Stacey,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps this guy has brought up some issues in your relationship that you had not realised before. Maybe you don’t have a lot in common with your partner, or get each other’s humour or have similar backgrounds and it’s a void that’s been filled with this new guy.
The things you mention are difficult to change in your partner- so perhaps you need to decide if these aspects of your friendship with this new guy are more important than what you have with your boyfriend.
Maybe you have not laughed with your partner for a while and you need to do something fun together to get those chuckle muscles working- if life has become too serious then perhaps you need a reminder of what you used to do as a couple that made you laugh.
If you don’t have a lot in common with your partner then perhaps try to find some new things you can do together; a class for instance so you can bond over a new passion.
Perhaps once you have tried to make things better with your man then you can ask yourself if you want to be with him or if you are actually falling out of love with him and in love with someone else. It might make the decision easier if you feel you have tried to make improvements in your existing relationship first.
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