Lyndsy asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm in a same sex relationship with a woman and have been for the past 2 years. We both really want a baby but my partner wants to wait for another year and my biological clocks ticking fast. I'm 33 but want 2 children!! We both advertised for donors to contact us, a few did and they were not right. Then one perfect one did and instead of telling my girlfriend I contacted him out of desperation and the next day sperm was delivered right to my door! I inseminated and the next thing I'm 4 weeks pregnant already and my doctors confirmed it! I'm terrified to tell my partner I know I have to and soon , I'm just so scared she will leave me and feel like I have betrayed her. Help and suggestions please!!

Hi Lyndsy,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

This seems like a very conflicted place to be- it sounds like you are fulfilling what your body is craving but in doing so it’s affecting your relationship with your partner.

Pregnancy is not something you can hide for too much longer, so perhaps it’s best to just get it off your chest. She will likely feel betrayed that you didn’t tell her, however this sounds like it's something you both ultimately want, so in time she might find it in herself to forgive you.

If she is not your age, then maybe she will not have an appreciation of how much you want this right now, so maybe try to explain this to her, so she can see where you were coming from when you inseminated.

You will both have a little boy or girl to look after in 8 months’ time, so the faster you sort out your differences the better or your baby will potentially be born into a world of fighting and resentment.

Maybe consider some relationship counselling if she does not take this well, as this might help you both to work through what’s happened and what you are going to do moving forward. That should help to give you the best possible start for you as parents and for your child.

 


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