anonymous asks :

Why does it take me ages to finish during sex? Is there something wrong with me?

Hi Anonymous,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It could be that you are desensitising yourself by using a condom. Have you spoken to your partner about using a different type of condom- such as thin feel variety or another form of contraception like the pill, implant or the coil?

Are you on any medication? Sometimes one of the side effects of certain types of medication is a delay in orgasm- if this is the case- then it might be worth paying a visit to your doctor to ask for an alternative.

Lifestyle factors can also cause this- are you getting enough sleep? Are you worried or anxious about anything? If you have existing relationship problems with your partner then perhaps these are playing on your mind and you feel too much pressure to pleasure your partner?

If you can masturbate in less time then it could be that you associate ejaculation with more visual stimuli. If you have sex with your partner in the dark or subdued lighting then maybe a better view of your partner might help to turn you on more.

Often the way you masturbate does not resemble the feelings you have during sex. If the pressure and angle are too different then maybe this is decreasing your sensitivity. Could you try a little mutual masturbation with your partner before penetrative sex? If you teach them the same way you do it to yourself then this might get you more worked up during foreplay.

If none of these work, then it might be worth paying a visit to your doctor, as delayed ejaculation can be the result of some medical conditions too- so you may want to get checked out.


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