Michael asks :
Hi Lucy,
I’ve been friends with this girl for several years and I developed feelings for her and she told me she felt the same way. Downside is she has a boyfriend and two kids with him. Every time we meet up, her partner doesn't help with their kids, bullies her and she has from time to time thought about leaving him but when I ask her she always says ‘I’ve got a family’ but yet she is always the one to lean in and kiss me, actually grabbing me and catching me off guard when kissing me. She has been trusting me with every detail about herself that he is unaware of so I know she's interested... I guess my question is if she is choosing to stay with him, why is she still grabbing to kiss me?
Our Reply
Hi Michael,
If you don’t have children, it might be difficult for you to appreciate how tough it is for her to let go of her family unit even when you say her partner is treating her so badly.
It sounds like you have spoken to her about the feelings you have for one another, perhaps it’s time to talk about the kissing. If you feel that she is not going to leave, then maybe ask her to stop kissing you. It might be a lovely feeling as it’s happening but it seems like this is confusing you even further.
If you still want to be a support for her, then that is up to you, even if she wants to stay as things are. It might be to your advantage to ask her to stop sending you mixed signals if she doesn’t have any intention of leaving her boyfriend.
tagged in Friends Kiss Kick Ass Family Lucy Walton boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
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