Summer asks :

Hi Lucy,

I knew my boyfriend for a year as friends before getting together with him as he was living with his partner and child. They had big problems but I refused to get involved and told him I wouldn't unless he was free. One night he came round and said his girlfriend had someone else so meant we could be together that was the start of 6 wonderful weeks together and he treated me like a princess and moved in. Until one weekend we were out in his car she came past in her car must have seen me and tore after us! Warning bells started as he obviously didn't know about me. The week after he came home and said he couldn’t be with me any longer he couldn't leave his child as was tearing him apart. He has gone back to her said he loved me but can't be with me and now won't have contact I am gutted as he told me he didn't love her and she was awful to him and he would never go back. He has text very little and now nothing. We were a perfect match. Should I just let him go?

Hi Summer,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you pursue this again because you think you are a ‘perfect match’, there is always the chance of it happening again. Do you think you could cope with this a second time around if he lied to you again? Or decided that he has to be with her for the sake of his child?

If not, then perhaps try to leave this relationship behind. You might have a great time together when his child and partner were not on the scene, however it seems that once they are in the picture it complicates things for you and him.

If he has stopped all contact then perhaps that is his way of telling you that you should move on. If he loved you enough then he could find a way to make it work with you and seeing his child, however he seems to have chosen to stay in a relationship he says he is unhappy in instead.

If this is his decision perhaps you can’t change his mind if he is trying to do the best by his child.

Maybe it's time for you to find someone who is not still caught up in a previous relationship. 


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