Fizz asks :

Hi Lucy,

I am feeling guilty as it is. I ended my marriage 9 months ago. I got to the point where I was lost in it, my husband cheated pretty much all the way through and became abusive, a few days before I walked away from my marriage I slept with a friend of mine. He was also having problems in his marriage. This was the deciding factor for me. Whereas he has carried on being with his wife, they live together but that’s it. He’s staying there for his kids. Well we lost contact as things were hard as it was. But then recently he got back in contact. And we talked for ages like old times. But then he visited one evening and we slept together again. And talked ages after. He’s still with his wife but literally as lodgers he stays for his kids. But now he has gone all quiet on me. I know nothing can come of it. But why is he doing this? By the way he has never done anything like this before. Never even looked at another woman xx

Hi Fizz,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Perhaps when you speak to him next offer a friendship- if you know ‘nothing can come of it’ and he wants to stay put for the sake of the kids, then maybe you could be better off as friends.

If you have just ended your marriage and it was because of your husband cheating on you then perhaps you are looking for some affection if you didn’t get it off him. If this friend has given you that on a number of occasions it is understandable that you might crave his company.

If you think that there is nothing in it for you other than sex and a friendship, then maybe try not to sleep with him when you see him next, as this appears to be complicating matters for you.

It could be that you are special to him if he has never done anything like this before; however do you want to share him forever with his wife? If you think you can then perhaps carry on as you are, but if you think that you could end up getting jealous even if they are ‘only lodgers’, then maybe stick to being platonic to help clear your head.  


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