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Did I believe he was dead,
lying in the hard ground
with a gravestone over his head?
In the rain, under the fallen leaves,
in the earth.
Can I believe he is there?
A thin shiver of hope
loosens the muscles
under my tongue.
Motionless, I mouth the words
'Come back'.
I have leapt into the pyre
I taste black metal and bone
and the gape of sightless eyes.
My catarrh of tears
falls like black ash,
and waxes down my face
melting into silence.