Behind every happy leader there is a strong and supportive partner who provides the space and anchors his or her other half. However, the quality of the relationship can be your greatest advantage or your biggest handicap. Most relationships fall into one or other of the following categories:
There are 3 levels of relationship
Level 1 ‘I will be around you while you fulfill my needs’
Level 2 ‘We are partners and share dreams and challenges together’
Level 3 ’Your needs are my needs’
Depending on where you think your relationship is most of the time, will indicate how supportive your partner is.
If you are level 1 then you are probably doing most of the bolstering up. Your other half has a tendency to be selfish and expects you to run around him or her. Level one-type relationships tend to be the ones our parent’s generation often found themselves in. The male was typically the breadwinner and the wife remained at home with the children putting everyone’s needs in front of her own.
If you find yourself at level 2 you are probably sharing the chores, shopping and childcare.
This is a great level to aspire to if you both have high- flying roles. This is where you most probably have a considerate partner which in itself is an indicator for success? Three factors can explain why these couples tend to succeed:
- Relying on one’s partner to split housework, means less worrying about errands at work.
- Being a supportive partner encourages similar behavior in the other.
- Being reliable at home makes for a more trustworthy employee; if your spouse trusts you to pick up groceries on the way home, you’re likely an employee whom your boss can trust to deliver good work on time.
- Having a conscientious spouse and a happy personal life is simply a stress reliever.
Ambitious people seek partners who can be supportive of their big dreams. If you are growing and developing in your life and find great stimulation at work it is important that your spouse is also growing otherwise one of the pair will out grow the other and may gradually begin to resent the fact that they have to provide all the stimulus.
A struggling partnership at home can wear on professional performance in subtle ways, too. Spouses don’t have to be actively fighting to affect one another’s work–they can just be mismatched personalities.
There is no doubt that effective relationship building and connecting to your partner at home is a skill that will also pay dividends in the workplace.
If you are one of the rare people who puts themselves at level 3
‘Your needs are my needs’ you will most probably have a halo and be in constant service to your partner. This is great as long as you do not become the doormat; remember every doormat has welcome written on it.
Whilst having your partners needs at the forefront of your mind it’s also important to create a healthy division of tasks e.g. pink jobs and blue jobs. This is a useful way to operate at optimal gender strength.
For instance if you are genuinely better at cooking perhaps your partner could do the shopping or the clearing up.
Being a good partnership with a strong sense of shared vision and purpose is the key to a thriving relationship.
Motivate Yourself – Get the life you want, find purpose and achieve fulfilment by Andro Donovan is out now, published by Capstone, priced £10.99 from Amazon. For further information go to www.androdonovan.com.