Simon Ships Out
What can you tell us about your new books Simon Ships Out and Instant Whips and Dream Toppings?
Well, they’re about as diverse as 2 books ever could be! Simon Ships Out is the memoir of the world’s first celebrity cat and is narrated by none other than Able Seacat Simon himself. (OK, maybe I helped him just a little!) It’s a family friendly read, with Simon telling of the exploits on board HMS Amethyst 65 years ago that led to him being heralded as the world’s first celebrity cat. He’s the only cat ever to have won the PDSA Dickin medal for bravery in war situations. One of the Lieutenant Commander’s on board was appointed as his press officer due to his incredible fame and Simon even had his obituary in Time magazine. He’s a pretty unique cat and narrates a heart-warming, funny and emotional story.
Instant Whips and Dream Toppings is my own memoir of what happened when I swapped business suits for thigh length boots! Why did a squirming ‘Batman’ in baggy blue bat-pants come to see me? Which MP had a choux fetish? It relates some of the bizarre and humorous sessions I had with my clients whilst working as a London dominatrix and is set against a backdrop of my transition from frumpy and miserable housewife to sexy and enticing temptress. Definitely an adult only read!
What made you move to London ten years ago?
I was living in Southampton and spending every weekend driving up and down to London to indulge my newfound passions for fetish clubs and a lesbian dining club I had created. I wasn’t sure which was the more exhausting – having so much fun or all that driving. I moved to a gorgeous Victorian school conversion apartment in London, discovered that it was the driving that was tiring, and embarked on even more fun.
Why are you so curious about cats?
To tell the truth, I am petrified of them. But I came across Able Seacat Simon’s story of heroism and was enchanted. The more I research I did, the more I came to love his incredible tale of bravery and compassion. I felt compelled to share his story with a new generation who are, in the main, unaware of his uniquely brave and heroic tale. And what better way to bring the story to life than to step into his paws and ‘become’ him, telling the extraordinary events through his innocent but observant eyes.
You are a regular contributor to Huffington Post and Sabotage Times, so what has been your most memorable experience?
I particularly loved writing about the top 5 perils of working in the sex industry. Maybe I've just been unlucky, but a quick mental tot up revealed I'd had the misfortune to have:
- Been mugged
- Been sexually harassed
- Received a black eye
- Needed to call the police six times due to being burgled and
- Had my Facebook account trolled almost into oblivion
Yet all of the above happened in my personal life. My supposedly ‘dodgy’ business life was pretty much horror-free. It was funny to get people’s reaction to the fact that finding a partner was much more of a peril for me than anything seriously dangerous happening whilst I was at ‘work’.
Please tell us about trekking to Mount Everest.
I suddenly got it into my head that I wanted to see Mount Everest for myself. Note the word ‘see’. I would stay in a classy hotel in Kathmandu, go on a helicopter trip and fly around that amazing mountain. But curiosity got the better of me and I wondered what it’d be like to get up close and personal. Could I walk far enough so that I could actually ‘see’ that infamous peak for myself? A friend put me in touch with a Sherpa and suddenly I found myself on a trek that enabled me to see Mount Everest for real. The toughest part wasn’t actually the trekking, it was getting used to staying in places with no electricity or heating and only an outdoor hole in the ground as a loo. But the views of Mount Everest and the scenery were breathtakingly awesome and something I will remember forever. They more than made up for the difficult living conditions. The friendliness of the local people, despite the hardships they face on a daily basis, was overwhelming.
You used to run a lesbian dining club, so what can you tell us about this?
They say that life begins at 40 and it certainly did for me. I discovered that women existed - from a sexual point of view, that is. I was like a child in a sweet shop, discovering new and exciting people. But I was disappointed to find there were few decent places to go and meet such like-minded women. All the lesbian bars I encountered were quite uninviting and, to be honest, rather seedy. I decided to start the Champagne Dining Club, organising lunches and dinners for lesbians and bisexual women at some of London’s most prestigious restaurants. Not only did I get to meet some interesting women, but I dined for free J It’s only recently, now that being lesbian / bisexual is perceived as being much more acceptable, that I’ve stopped organising the events as numbers were declining. But I’ve made a huge number of great friends along the way and many relationships have developed as a result.
Why did you escape a yoga holiday in a dinghy?
I was aboard a gorgeous Turkish tall ship for what I anticipated to be a peaceful and relaxing yoga holiday. Usually such holidays are vegan / vegetarian food, no stimulants such as coffee / alcohol / smoking and are deliciously quiet. Instead I found myself on the equivalent of a carnivorous booze cruise, with a bit of yoga thrown in for good measure. Don’t get me wrong – there are times in my life when I love a good party. But that wasn’t one of them. One of the crew offered to spirit me away in the middle of the night and promised that a friend would meet me at the 3rd promontory past some well-known rocks. It all sounded rather dodgy as we sped off in the dark by dinghy. But thankfully I’m still here to tell the tale. And much more careful about the questions I ask before booking a yoga holiday now.
Why are you passionate about working for the charities Breast Cancer and Gay Pride.
My first lengthy stay in Gran Canaria coincided with the local breast cancer charity losing all government funding. (There was no connection between my landing here and the monies being withdrawn by the way!) The charity is headed by the most incredible lady whose family have been decimated by breast cancer. I thought it’d be a nice gesture to try and organise a few events to raise maybe a couple of thousand euros for the charity. Never one to do things by halves, I threw myself into the challenge, got the British community on board and succeeded in raising over 21,000 euros over 9 months, the largest single donation the charity has ever received. The scariest part was a sponsored parachute jump I did. I don’t enjoy planes even when I am meant to get off at the other end, let alone jump out part way through! Meeting survivors of breast cancer and seeing the effect that the donations make to the emotional support and treatment they get makes it all worthwhile.
Gay Pride is a different challenge again. It’s an enormous event in Gran Canaria, covering an entire 10 days, and is run entirely by volunteers. It makes London Pride look rather small. I decided to put my business skills to good use and joined the committee, putting my focus mainly on organising events for women as 99% of the focus is on the men. My lesbian pirate ship cruises, pool parties and night club evenings raise thousands of euros annually which contribute to the overall event. It’s a great party atmosphere and generates an enormous amount of tourism for the island.
You split your time between London and Gran Canaria, so why do you feel the need to escape London from time to time?
That question has a very simple answer - the sun, the sun and the sun! Need I add more?
Available now on Kindle and paperback at Amazon!