Tara Palmer Tomkinson's funeral was "the wedding she never had".
The 45-year-old socialite passed away suddenly in February from a perforated ulcer and her sister Santa Montefiore says the memorial service at All Saints' Church in Dummer, Hampshire, where they grew up, was perfect for Tara.
She told the Mail On Sunday: "It was the wedding Tara never had. We had I Vow To Thee My Country - always a fave - and Ricochet, a song Tara wrote the week before she died with lyrics including, 'I'll be in the stars, I'll be watching you from above'. It's a very prophetic song. It's like she sensed deep down. Her songs are more meaningful now. I listened to them when she was alive and didn't think too much about the words. But in retrospect they're sad. They were all about her fears."
Although there were reports that former addict Tara was back on drugs before her death, Santa insisted that her sister was clean.
She said: "No to drugs. She was very healthy. She had her NutriBullet and was juicing. She was trying really hard to be healthy and get her strength back. She was full of positivity.
"Anyone who has struggled with addiction finds life hard. Everyone knows there was a dark side. She was very open with her battle with drug addiction."
Santa also spoke about her sister's insecurities and revealed she always "felt she had to be the big star".
She added: "In her life she never felt she was enough. She had to be bigger.
'She always wanted to be a success. Success is not about making lots of money or being a famous or celebrated person. Being a success is loving and being loved. Just being Tara, our sister, our daughter, our family member, was enough.
"It's a very strange feeling to think I don't have a sister any more.
"But I like to think of her completing her life, not ending it short. I don't know what any of us have come here to do but whatever her purpose, I feel she had done it and she was called home. I wish I'd put my arms around her and told her I love her more. I tell her all the time now."
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