Not everyone can handle their chilli – especially if you were raised on bland fare, rather than the vibrancy of cuisines that actually use peppers right.
Things you only know if you’re obsessed with spicy food
But if dinner for you isn't complete without a dollop of hot sauce, a pile of pickled chillies on the side, or a serious dusting of pepper flakes, you'll know this lot to be true…
The Scoville scale is merely a to do list and source of inspiration for you – not a terrifying challenge to embark upon, or just plain avoid.
If free food depends on you eating the spiciest thing on offer, you will happily take the gauntlet. After all, other people snack on biscuits, you work your way through jars of jalapenos.
Not enough spice is incorporated into puddings as far as you're concerned. Chilli and chocolate is just a starting point.
You are that person who always asks for extra chillies with everything, and if someone leaves theirs on the side of their plate, or picks them out of their dinner, you will unabashedly lean over and snag them.
While most people have a few condiments in their kitchen cupboard – ketchup, mayo, Lea & Perrins, HP, a sweet chilli – yours are a cornucopia of chilli sauces from around the world, in myriad bottles, sauce sticky round the lids. It is your treasure trove of flavour; these condiments are basically your children. You dread finishing a bottle in case you can't track down a worthy replacement. And you scoff at sweet chilli sauce.
You've learnt to always supply yoghurt and bread when cooking dinner for others – and keep the fridge well stocked with milk. Too many times have you had people choking over the curry you've slaved over, even though you were sure you'd handled the chilli quota with restraint.
Your jerk chicken marinade is a closely guarded secret. One you may never deign to share.
While you are aware of the historical, political and geographical comment Beyonce was making when she sang, "I got hot sauce in my bag / swag," – plus the fact it's slang for carrying a secret weapon – there genuinely is always a bottle of hot sauce on your person.
There are jars in your fridge filled with homemade Mexican salsas and Indonesian sambal, varying in heat – you spoon them over everything edible you come into contact with.
When it comes to a platter of padron peppers, you actually hope you get the hot ones.
Your go-to cuisines are Indian, Mexican and Chinese. Lip-numbingly spicy food just makes you happy – you don't understand your tastebuds or why your tolerance levels are so high, but you're very grateful.
The windowsills of your house are overflowing with chilli plants, because you can never have too many chilli peppers in the vicinity. Fact.