The Descent Part 2
'The feel sh*t scared film of the decade' is here. The Descent: Part 2 is being released for Pathé Productions Ltd. by Warner Bros.
Pictures UK on 4 December 2009. Shauna Macdonald (Mutant Chronicles, The Descent) returns as Sarah, continuing the story of 2005’s hugely successful horror thriller The Descent, in which a group of young women disappear during a caving trip in the Appalachian Mountains.
In the spirit of The Descent: Part 2 we have created a list of celebrities you’d least like to be stuck in a cave with and why!
Jordan (Katie Price)
Although she wouldn’t be new to 'roughing it,' having been in the jungle twice, she would be a nightmare. First, she'd probably make you cross-dress like her ex-boyfriend, Alex. Also, you might fall in love in the cave; get married then have a nasty public divorce.
She would complain and whine that there were no paparazzi to take her photos, and she'd constantly nag and tell you to stop calling her Jordan. Lastly, you'd be scared after a few days in the cave when you realize her face doesn't move...too much Botox allegedly!
Simon Cowell
You'd be bothered by the fact his t-shirts are super tight because they are about 3 sizes too small. Also, he'd constantly judge everything you do. He'd say you sucked and you don't have that ‘X factor’.
Also, the cave wouldn't be big enough for you and his ego. And, being in the constant presence of an asshole would be really crappy.
Jedward
It would be painful to hear their mediocre singing echoed off the cave walls, and would they ever stop hopping and dancing out of time? With their recent offer of appearing on I’m a Celebrity Get Me out of Here, you’d be fooled to think Jedward weren’t 'up for any challenge'. Enough already!
Mariah Carey
Well clearly she has mental issues. I mean she's almost 40 and she still dresses like she's 18. Someone needs to tell her it's alright to wear clothes that cover your body. Also, she's a bit of a diva. She might demand to be surrounded by 20 white kittens and wants 100 white doves to be released as she enters the cave, just like she did for her show at Westfield mall.
Amy Winehouse
Who wouldn't want to be in a cave with an erratic drug addict and drunk. No one would have any room after her and her beehive entered. In addition to worrying about what would come out of the cave, you'd have to worry about what would come out of her hair.
Also, you should be worried about getting a contact high every time she spoke to you. And, unless you’re a doctor, you'd be screwed if her breast implant exploded again.
Victoria 'Posh' Beckham
It would be weird to see her wearing her sunglasses in pitch blackness. She would also complain her shoes would get ruined from standing in the dirt. At least she may not complain about the lack of food in the cave. You never know, she may accidently slip down a hole.
Lindsay Lohan
Commonly referred to as Lindsanity, La Loca, Blohan, why wouldn't you want to be in a cave with her. Sure, she'll probably be drunk and coked up. She might even resort to snorting dirt as a substitute. And, she'll whine and complain to you about how her dad ruined her relationship with Sam Ronson and her life.
Lady Gaga
First, she might try to get you to wear leotards. You'll also never know what's poking you, but is likely to be an accessory from one of her unique outfits. She may even dress up in dirt and bugs. She also might befriend one of the scary crawler creatures and start a bad romance.
Madonna
For starters she would try to convert you to Christianity or kabbalah, or whatever religion she's into that day. You'd get sick of listening to her ‘British’ accent multiplied by 10 because it would bounce off the cave walls.
Also, you'd feel inadequate because she's way more ripped than you at 50. And, she would ask you to help her reinvent herself yet again.
Britney Spears
She makes horrible decisions, like shaving all her hair off and dating a member of the paparazzi. Plus, you might have to worry about being attacked in the dark with an umbrella. She'll probably walk around bare foot because she'll pretend the cave is a gas station.
The Descent: Part 2 is in cinemas December 4 (previews 2-3 Dec)