Of course I’m a woman! Are you saying I sound like a bloke?

 

No no, you sound very erotic on the phone. [FF: Oh God, I don’t mean to!] Do you work for one of those call centres at the weekend? [FF: Where I call you and try to sell you kitchens… no.] No, one of those special ones… “No I’m taking it off now love” [FF: Unfortunately not no.] I’d ring ever day if you wore working there. [FF: Cheers.]

Moving swiftly on….who do you think is the best musician around at the moment?

 

Elton John. You know he did a tune with TuPac, brilliant that is. Elton John is so good he can bring people back from the dead. If I was to get married I’d have that playing and I’d lock everyone in the Church for 24 hours and make them listen to that song.

Well that brings me onto my next question… if you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life.. What would it be?

 

Probably ether the original Hits tape or Now That’s What I Call Music… any of them. Or Reign In Blood by slayer, that has a lot of energy behind it. Anything with a bit of a “Catchy Beat” as my dad might say.

And if you could get rid of anyone in the charts, who would it be?

 

Who is in the charts? Who is number one at the moment? [FF: Lady GaGa] Never heard of her. She can stay because we don’t know her. Who else? [FF: Girls Aloud and Alexandra Burke the X Factor winner] Never heard of them. Actually I’d probably get rid of everyone so that we get to number one.

That’s a pretty good idea, or you could just nick number one songs and stick your labels on the cover and marketing them as your own.

 

Yes. Put their covers on our records! Brilliant!

Okay, so now I’m going to ask you three random questions… firstly; if you only had nine minutes to live, what would you do in those nine minutes?

 

I’d listen to Stone Roses Fools Gold which is just over nine minutes long so I’d just about get to the last bit as it finished and I drifted away.

Aww!

 

I’d have a glass of white wine and watch Ally McBeal on TV until the first commercial break until I gently drift off to the other side.

Now, tell me one experience with an animal that you’ll never forget.

 

I’ve got family who live in the countryside and these horses used t walk around and one day this horses knob came out and it did a wee and it was so hard and powerful that it ripped up the turf out of the groud. It was hilarious. Piss rips turf: it’s official.

And if you could go back in time and prevent a huge catastrophe, what would you prevent?

 

Probably the time I shit myself in Germany when we were on tour. [FF; Oh dear, and why was that? Or do we not want to know?] I had food poisoning on the tour bus and had to travel for like 48 hours whilst letting everything out into a bucket.

Also, we ask everyone we interview to come up with a question for the next person we interview, and MVP the wrestler, wants to know; what was the last song you sung in the shower?

 

Here we go… you ready? *In their best singing voices* “The minute you walked in the joint… bah bah… I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big (and I changed this bit to…) a real big bender.” and then I look at myself naked in the mirror.

Surely the mirror would have steamed up with the shower?

 

Well it was steamed up by the time I finished that song!

Haha, legend. Now can you come up with a question for the next band I interview please?

 

Would you ever dye your pubes?

Oh amazing. Have you?

 

No, but I have fashioned them. But who will you ask that to?

A rock band called Staind.

 

*they fall about laughing at this point* oh well they will have with a name like Staind. It’s probably pebble-dashed.

Oh dear me. Well thanks for taking the time out to make my day a little brighter boys!

 

FemaleFirst - Ruth Harrison

 

Tagged in