John Whaite felt a "sense of loss" when 'Strictly Come Dancing' finished knowing he couldn't see Johannes Radebe every day.
John Whaite opens up suffering Strictly curse
The 34-year-old TV star - who is engaged to Paul Atkins - finished as runner-up in the 2021 edition of the BBC Latin and Ballroom competition and after admitting that he had "fallen in love" with his professional partner, has now admitted that he "didn't want to let go" after the show was over.
Writing in his memoir 'Dancing On Eggshells', he said: "After that final dance, I hung up my clothes for the last time. I felt a sense of loss. Not because the competition was over, I was knackered and ready for a break, but because I wouldn’t get to see Johannes every single day.
"I watched him as he sat on the window sill of the dressing room drinking a glass of champagne, still sparkling in his bright white show dance outfit. I was jealous of the sweat beads as they shimmered on his beautiful skin. I wanted to be close to him . . . We hugged goodbye, I didn’t want to let go."
The former 'Great British Bake Off' winner went on to add that whilst his co-star was aware of the 'Strictly Curse' - a phenomenon which has seen married contestants fall for their professional partners on the show - and was trying to be "cautious" but in the end, John and Paul had to have some time apart.
He said: "Johannes knew that [the curse] could happen. He had seen it a thousand times with his dance companions over the years. When you are physically pressed against another man for ten hours a day, things move emotionally . . . He was being cautious. Strictly has a magical way of revealing the truth.
"For a while, Paul and I had to have some time apart. I felt like I didn’t know what I wanted from my existence anymore. Paul had moved back with his parents and I thought to myself ‘What the hell are you doing?’
" I was making that childhood premonition of growing old alone come true. Fourteen years in a solid relationship with a man who loves me unconditionally, a man who would move the earth to make me feel safe and I was p***ing all over it.”
The couple got back together but John later revealed that he has had to "sacrifice" his friendship with Johannes for the sake of his relationship with Paul.
John told The Times: "I have to be mindful that there’s more than my own desires to consider here” If it would be tricky for Paul for me to be in contact with Johannes, then it’s a sacrifice that I have to make.”
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