Pat Sharp
Moaning Morning
The celebrities woke up a grumpy and whingeing with Antony complaining of waking up to “a wall of sound” from Lorraine who was fussing over the whereabouts of her towels.
He said: “I woke up to a wall of sound from Lorraine, how do people talk so much?”
It was a hideous ordeal. It involved horrible carcasses, rats, bandicoots, it could not have been more horrendous – it was very, very, very, very difficult like you can’t imagine, it nearly killed me
Pat complained that his night in the Sin Bin was worse than the night in the cave and he’d been bitten by a huntsman spider while Dougie complained of so many flies, they were actually mating on his legs.
Chrissy meanwhile moaned about the moaning: “I’ve never known so much whingeing; I wouldn’t have missed a day of it in here.”
Bushman’s Bungalow
Then it was the Bushmans bungalow Bush Tucker Trial- Pat was voted by the public to complete last night’s Bushtucker Trial called Bushman’s Bungalow. It was set in a deserted shack set by a lake, complete with an ancient bushman rocking on a rocking chair on the veranda outside.
The spooky shack was divided into rooms, all of which hid stars – but also jungle critters and nasties. Pat had a limited amount of time in each room, during which he had to find the stars, and come face to face with the jungle inhabitants of the shack.
First up was the bedroom which hid three stars. He rummaged through drawers and cupboards, all of which were full of cockroaches and other insects. He opened a drawer at the bottom of a wardrobe and jumped as it contained a snake. But no star. Ripping back the sheets on the bed, he found that it was infested with cockroaches. After he’d finished in the bedroom he confessed to Ant and Dec that the snakes had really “freaked him out.”
Next up was the living room. He dismantled an old stove in which he found a nest of rats – but no stars. Another chest was full of rats; and a cupboard contained a possum. “This Trial is tough” puffed Pat as he ran around the room.
He then made his way to the kitchen. He clattered and crashed around the dilapidated and dirty room plunging his hand into a sink of eels. Everything he opened seemed to contain mealworms and there were flies buzzing around everywhere. The cupboards were full of rats and frogs; the drawers were full of cockroaches and he opened a fridge to find rotten fish inside.
He had to look around outside next. A rusty old bathtub contained baby crocodiles – but were they hiding any stars? There was a bandicoot in a box, and he even searched the bushman himself in his quest to earn meals for camp.
Finally he had to get into a boat contacting old fish and row to a buoy which had a star attached to it. Pat jettisoned the boat and jumped straight into the water, swimming to the buoy.
Pat emerged from the water exhausted having won eight out of the possible 12 stars. He told the fellow celebrities: “It was a hideous ordeal. It involved horrible carcasses, rats, bandicoots, it could not have been more horrendous – it was very, very, very, very difficult like you can’t imagine, it nearly killed me.”
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