Caffeine addict J, desperate for cup of coffee, said he would have sex with a wombat if he could have one. He said: “If they said they would give me coffee, I’d do a trial and eat anything. I absolutely adore coffee. I’m not even withdrawing from it. I just adore the smell and taste of coffee. Just to sit there and have a sip of coffee would be amazing. I would eat anything for some coffee for us. Or do anything. Literally.” Janice asked: “Anything? Really?” J: “Ok, I wouldn’t engage in any man on man sexual activity and I wouldn’t eat any kind of bodily matter. But I’d do anything else.” Janice asked: “Would you have sex with a wombat?” J replied: “If I had a condom and I got told I wouldn’t get done for animal cruelty then probably. As long as the wombat was consenting, that’s the important thing. I’d think that I’d enter into a relationship with a wombat for a nice cup of Java. You never know, the wombat and I might like it and then I’d have a little bed buddy while I was here. So if any wombats come this way with a canister of coffee on their back I’d be right in there dude.”