Meghan, Duchess of Sussex was a "nerd" growing up.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex was a 'nerd'
The 41-year-old former actress - who was known as Meghan Markle before her marriage to Prince Harry - welcomed Paris Hilton as a guest on the latest episode of her 'Archetypes' podcast and she admitted she was nervous about their discussion because she had "projected" the "judgement and envy" she felt towards the heiress when she was young.
During the episode, the two women discussed the term "bimbo" and how Paris had played into the narrative she was a "dumb blonde", which she admitted she had done as a "safety mechanism" to escape the trauma she felt after being allegedly abused at the Provo Canyon School in Utah when she was 16.
Meghan said: “I remember growing up in LA around the same age and you were just so famous and so beautiful.
“I was this nerd, so it was so hard for me to think about what you and I would talk about when so much of the identity – whether it was placed upon you, or you adopted, or embraced, or used to build a career – was about not leaning into being smart.”
After their discussion, Meghan admitted it "doesn't feel good" to have judged Paris before they met and she was "ashamed" to have envied the 41-year-old socialite.
She said: “You heard me at the beginning of this episode talk about how I was nervous for this one. Nervous because, while I’m embarrassed to admit it, I had a judgement about Paris. And I don’t like having judgement. Doesn’t feel good.
“When I grew up, she was beautiful, rich and famous. ‘What could possibly be wrong with her life?’ I would think. And because my entire sense of self-confidence was wrapped up in being the smart one and not the pretty one, I found the way to project all of my judgement and envy onto her.
“‘Who would want to act stupid?’ I would think. Envy can be a very dangerous thing, as can judgement. I was ashamed to admit that I harboured either of those feelings.”
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